Popping in Popeyes’ Pickle and (👻) Pepper Palatable Provisions

Issue #2,500

I assure you that I’m not in the bag for all that Popeyes rolls out, despite glowing reviews for their chicken and fish sandwiches. For instance, I can confidently tell you that their biscuits are drier than chalk. If you struggle to drink eight cups of water a day, just take down a Popeyes biscuit or two, and you’ll be swallowing gallons of H20 in order rehydrate your mouth, body … and soul, which was so desperate for masochism that you decided to suffer through chewing their biscuits hockey pucks.

They recently debuted a highly unique and creative Pickle Glaze Sandwich. And I can report that it is fantastic. But mainly because it was almost identical in taste to their regular chicken sandwich, which ranks #1 on The List. This version wasn’t very different. I really didn’t pick up any hint of pickle-flavored brine, other than from the slices of actual pickles included in the sandwich. There was a slightly elevated kick of pepperiness, but that might have just been from the filet’s breading.

Maybe I received an under-glazed sandwich? I noticed some of it on the chicken filet, resembling a gentle squeeze, rather than a generous glazing. This is not entirely surprising as my local Popeyes outlet, much like most fast-food restaurants, excels at uneven execution. I’ve noticed that whenever the service is attentive and friendly, the sandwich is stellar. This was not one of those times.

The service was curt and unceremonious. The cashier dropped off my order into the indoor pass-through window and disappeared before I could say, “thank you.” Maybe it was busy, but I was the only customer inside, there were no cars in the drive-through line, and the mobile order shelf was empty.

It’s fine, though — I get it — working fast food is rough, and as long as no one is defiling my meal, I have no complaints about service. But I have noticed a coincidental relationship between the level of service and the level of greatness of the food at this Popeyes. The food’s never been bad, but at times it’s been otherworldly, which is what I’m always looking forward to at Popeyes. This was one of the “not bad” times.

I had an identical experience with another newish entry from them, the Ghost Pepper Chicken Sandwich. I don’t have a lot to say about this sandwich, which, on its own, is delicious. Imagine their Spicy Chicken Sandwich, only with slightly more heat.

But it brings me to my ultimate takeaway here, which is the failure of Ghost Pepper’s guardians to protect against the rampant desecration of its once feared monicker. I don’t believe the person who cultivated or discovered this pepper ever trademarked the name, so it gets abused like L.A. Metro’s honor system for fares (trust me, that’s a lot!). This is one of the hottest peppers on earth, but whenever you see it as part of a consumer food item, it just tastes like a couple of extra shakes of standard black pepper. The name “ghost pepper” has lost all its punch. For instance, if you renamed California’s Death Valley to Ghost Pepper Death Valley, I’d assume it was always 75° F (297 Kelvin) there with a mild but comforting breeze.

As for ranking, since both the Pickle Glaze and Ghost Pepper Sandwiches are equal in quality and taste to Popeyes’ standard versions, they’ll all just share the #1 spot.

I’ll now finish my mountain of Popeyes sandwiches while watching some NBA playoff games, which have been quite entertaining this year. Some teams are winning, some teams are losing, and everyone is ghost pepper fighting!