Supermarket Chicken — Is the Grease Worth the Squeeze?

A couple of months ago while grabbing a few happy hour bites at a Lazy Dog, the conversation, as it often does, turned to fried chicken products. One of our companions, Loc, mentioned that he found the chicken nuggets from the deli counter at Safeway grocery stores to be a close approximation to McDonald's famed offerings.

I was highly skeptical. There's really only three things I hold in high regard at McDonald's — chicken nuggets (I guess they're called "McNuggets" but no), french fries and their fountain sodas when they're sometimes on sale at $1 for any size. As far as chicken nuggets go, it's almost impossible to beat what McDonald's has going.

But I'm also sensitive to the skyrocketing cost of fast food. The deli counter at supermarkets can often provide an array of poultry products at attractive prices.

So I decided to check it out for myself. While Safeway operates in Northern California, their subsidiary Vons operates almost identically in the southern part of the state.

Both grocery stores run a promotion on Fridays where select products are priced at $5. So when they offered 20 nuggets for $5, I jumped in my Honda Civic sEX and sped (not over the speed limit though) down to my nearest Vons.

When you arrive at the deli counter, it's clear that these aren't made to order. Of course there really wasn't an expectation that they would be, but then the immediate hope that springs to mind is that they were cooked somewhat recently and not perishing under heat lamps all day.

I ordered the nuggets and the less than enthused deli staffer tossed about 25-27 into a paper bag! At the time I thought my charming personality earned me those extra nuggets, but after eating them I realized this was not the case. They were probably just trying to get rid of them because...

These nuggets were not anywhere close to same ballpark as McDonald's. Maybe closer to the minor league park in a broke town about 100 miles away with a team threatening to leave for a slightly better ballpark in a less broke town about 150 miles away.

The breading was a little rubbery and didn't retain any crispiness. The actual chicken meat appeared to have shrunken inside its outer nugget shell. It tasted fine enough, but this wasn't a can't-miss culinary experience.

On the flip side, these weren't the worst nuggets I've ever had. Not even close to the worst. Gas station nuggets at 3 a.m. established the low bar to which all future ultra-processed chicken bites will need to clear.

But hey, in terms of volume, I can't complain. Five dollars for 25-27 nuggets (your mileage may vary of course) is an absolute steal these days. Would definitely give it a second chance at some point.

Now this was my experience at one Vons location. For all I know, every other Vons and Safeway might be hitting it out of the park.

And I can confidently say that these were still better than Burger King's nuggets.

In the next couple of installments, I'll be aggressively devouring Vons' other chicken offerings (also on sale), and Costco's chicken tenders.

The List

The List is unchanged and remains undefeated in all matters related to fried chicken sandwiches.

Childhood IP Surprisingly Not Terrible

This past week I took a trip down memory lane and watched new entries into two franchises from my childhood — Masters of the Universe (Prime Video) and Mortal Kombat II (HBO Max).

I don't really have a review but will say these are both the best movies to date produced by each cinematic universe (although 1995's Mortal Kombat endures as a guilty pleasure). Interpret that as you will.

Oddly enough, both films pluck their protagonists out of earth and transport them to a mystical world. And in Masters of the Universe and Mortal Kombat II I found the main villains — respectively Skeletor and Shao Kahn — far more compelling than anyone else appearing on screen.

This belief solidified for me near the end of Masters when Skeletor derides He-Man's earthly workplace, landing critical personal jabs that many viewers were likely able to relate to. At this point I was like, you know, Skeletor has a point, He-man kinda' sucks.

On a side note, while watching, it occurred to me that the villains from both movies would probably appreciate The List and use it to make more informed fried chicken sandwich purchasing decisions.

It might have helped them with their food tie-ins, where it appears Masters of the Universe had something going on with Denny's and Mortal Kombat II got some characters on bottles of Jones Soda.

Sadly (maybe), both promotions appear to have ceased.